AGONY

Agony's definition is "intense pain of mind or body, anguish, torture, extreme mental or physical suffering.

After supper was done, Jesus and some disciples walked to Gethsemene's Garden.  Jesus was going to pray.  Two or three disciples went in with him and waited while he went further in the garden.  There he prayed to his father about what was to come for him...."not my will, but thine".  He came to the disciples to find them asleep and then went again to pray to return only to find them asleep again.  Very human were these disciples.  

If you are familiar with the reading of the Gospels, you know what an agonizing prayer Jesus prayed.  I can't begin to imagine.  But, through it all, Jesus was WILLING to do HIS father's will.

I am uncertain as to how the Bible is written be it chronologically or not.  There is one Gospel book, the book of John (chapter 17) that documents a prayer of Jesus, implying it could have been in the garden but uncertain.  Either way, if you are not familiar with it or if you are, it deserves a read this week.  In this chapter, Jesus prays for himself, his disciples, and for you and me.  Reading this prayer makes me utterly humbled even more of what Jesus did for me.

After the prayers were done, Judas came with his "people" and betrayed the Lord with a kiss and Jesus was taken away to the courts.  

Oh, what Jesus did for you and me!  How I love HIM!

Consider....

PREPARATION

 In my scriptures today, I have read about the last supper that Jesus had with his disciples.  It was amazing to me that, just as Jesus told the disciples where to go to get the animal for his "walk" into Jerusalem, he did the same with his instructions to his disciples about the location of the last supper.  They were told to go see the man carrying a waterpot.  One of the gospels, Luke maybe, said they followed the man into his house and asked for the use of his upper room.  Isn't it amazing that in that whole large city of Jerusalem, these disciples found the exact man and the exact upper room that Jesus intended?  I was thinking that Jesus gave them specific instructions, they followed those instructions, and success was made.  Maybe that's a bit where I have a problem.  Do I receive the instructions and follow them just as Jesus intends?  Hmmm.....

The Bible says that Jesus gathered in that upper room with his twelve disciples.  The scriptures talk about their discussions a bit....you know the breaking of the bread representing Jesus' body and the drinking of the wine representing his blood.  He even in one gospel washed their feet.  Now I'm not going into the Baptist church's tradition of feet washing.  My church does that twice a year.  That's a blog post for another day, but I will tell you it's an humble time.  I guess I'm quite taken with the fact that Judas, the betrayer, was one of those 12 disciples gathered there in that room.  And I guess I'm even more taken that Jesus broke bread and drank with him at the same table.  More I'm even most taken that Jesus probably washed Judas' feet.  Have you even wondered how Judas felt?  I'm telling you, I have such a guilty conscience, I would have been eat up with guilt and spilled all.  But then I remember......all this is the fulfilling of the plan for Jesus to die for MY sins....and YOURS.

I think a lot, too, about Peter at this time.  Peter was the bold disciple.  I wonder how he felt when he was so bold in saying he would never deny Christ.  Never.  Ever.  And Jesus said that before the rooster crowed, Peter would deny him three times.   I think Peter really thought he would never deny Christ.  I think he fully intended to never deny Christ.  But you know what?  Peter was human just like you and me.  Think about that.

I always think, too, of what Jesus told Peter in one of the gospels and it really bears on my mind often.  I will paraphrase here....Jesus said to Peter, "Peter, Satan desires to have you and sift you as wheat but never fear, I have prayed for you."  That to me is a scary, big and comforting scripture all at the same time.

So at the end of the supper, they sang a hymn and went out.  Think about "The Plan."

Consider....

PARABLES AND BETRAYALS

As I was doing my reading about the events of Holy Week, I was reminded of all the parables and lessons Jesus taught during that time.  Parables I have heard all my life that somehow now take a bigger meaning and have a greater impact on my life as a senior adult.  It made me realize that while those parables are so meaningful and familiar, Jesus still continues to teach me every single day.  I hope I am an attentive learner.

I have read about Mary breaking the box of costly oil over him as he was with the group.  I have read where the disciples in that group criticized her for such a waste.  I have learned how that nothing done in the name of Jesus with a sincere heart is a waste.  I want a sincere heart. 

I read how he chased the moneychangers out of the Temple.  In today's society, we as a church must be careful of this in our own place of worship.  Enough said.

And I have read how Judas, one of his own disciples, sold him out.  Thirty pieces of silver which my reference said was 300 days' wages.  I wonder how much these folks worked for monetarily in those days.  These days we are full of inflation and the desire for more money.  I thought of Judas and in one of the gospels it said "Satan got into his heart".  Ah.  Mercy me.  I pray Satan doesn't get into my heart.  I hope I can keep the door locked tightly.  Yet at that, I know there are times I sold out the Lord by my silence, by my actions, and by my thoughts.  I hope to not do that again.  

Help us, Jesus, to trust you more.

Consider....

JOYS AND SORROWS OF PRAISE

Here we are again....the beginning of Holy Week.  I encourage you to read the scriptures daily as the week moves to the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  If you need a list of scriptures, you may look at this blog's prior post on Sunday, April 2, 2023 (Because of Him).

Today we traditionally celebrate Palm Sunday, the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem.  I find in the scriptures where he instructed his disciples how and where to get the things he needed for the entry.  They obeyed and I understand that he also told them what to tell the people.  So we all know as he rode into Jerusalem, the people put down their garments and palm fronds for his animal to walk on.  They were saying, "Hosanna!  Hosanna!"  It appeared to be a joyful time.

I was thinking, though, of Jesus and how he might have been not so joyful as he knew what was ahead.  

Even as I type this today, I, myself, am experiencing sorrow and fear over things I'm caring for in my own life.  I was thinking as I read this scripture that I need to concentrate on throwing down my garments of fear and pain and let Jesus take care of them.  As I do that, I need to PRAISE him for what he has already done for me--even on that first Palm Sunday--and praise him for what he is doing for me this day, and praise him for what he WILL do in the future.  

Consider.....

THRU A GLASS DARKLY

Hello all you blog readers!  Yes, it's been a long while since I have posted.  My life has been wearying to me and to all my family but hopefully, I am able now to process my thoughts again.  There's been sadness, more sadness, fear, more fear, and yes, miracles!  I will talk about all that in another post hopefully.  I do enjoy writing my thoughts and hope to find those thoughts again.  

Today, though, I want to talk about what light does.  I guess I had gotten so used to the bit of dull vision in my bathroom that I didn't even consider "fixing" it.  All of you who know me know that I live in a moderately medium sized house from the 1979 era.  I have two small bathrooms that one has trouble turning around a walker in.  (I know this since my hip replacement surgery when I had to function with a walker.  It was a challenge.). My house, too, is fairly country clutter decor EXCEPT for when we redid the hall bath.  I put some really pretty lights and globes there.  I didn't consider they would be hard to clean.  We kept the 1979ish wallpaper of brown flowers.  The Grandbaby loves it!  

So this morning it just seemed very darkish in that bathroom so I realized I had not cleaned those elegant globes since last year.  They are not clear, but tinted light brown/gold.  Beautiful....but caked with dust.  So I thought, "Why not?"  And, as I usually do halfway in the project I wished I had waited.  Those three little screws and my arthritic hands don't work well together.  Finally, I had the project done.  I turned on the lights and .....  WOW!  The light was bright and clear and just a wonderful sight to see!  Take a look....admire the brown flowered wallpaper as well.

Look at that!  

So, of course, there's a lesson in that for me to share.  Maybe more than just one, in fact, but it's one for today.  When life comes at you and things have grown dark, your faith has trouble shining through because of the "gunk" on the heart, and you find life hard to see clearly--life and Jesus, too--, then one needs to take the time to clear off the "gunk" hiding the light from the world and rejoice when that light shines brightly again.  It may be hard and time-consuming, but it's worth it.  Keeping our light shining brightly is not only good for the world to see, it's good for the depth of our very soul.  Trust me, after the past three months of my life, I have learned this truth and the Lord has reminded me of it this day.

So go clean a light globe or clear off the doubt in your heart so the faith can shine through and rejoice!  And you know?  If one would clean them more often, it wouldn't be so hard.  Just sayin'.....

Consider....

A BIRTH-DAY DAY

There's been a lot of talk lately that The Girl's birthday will make her middle-aged.  Well, here's news....I looked up "middle-aged" in the dictionary and it's the period of time between 40 and 60.  Surprise!  The Girl is already there!    Congratulations to The Girl!

With that said, 44 years ago on the day after Valentine's Day, The Girl entered this world and changed our lives and the lives of many.  Through these 44 years, she has experienced life and all that those experiences entail in the best of ways.  From sickness to research for sickness, from becoming a wife and mother to being one of the best wives and mothers, and so so much more.  Even the past couple of weeks, I've learned that she has become a concerned adult child about her own mother who is way over middle-aged.  What does that make me, her mother?  It makes me old and probably the classification of elderly but I will take it.  Most of all her relationship with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has grown to huge joys.

I could list for hours all of The Girl's attributes but quite frankly,  I'm weary.  I will invite you to visit any other February 15's on this blog for various posts on The Girl.  I will take the liberty this year of celebrating The Girl and the Lord's goodness with a recent photo of just us girls.

So so proud of both of "my girls".....

Happy birthday to The Girl!

THE HEART

In case you forgot, as I did, today is Valentine's Day.  I thought of writing some grand words about the heart and its functions, both physical and otherwise, but I decided maybe not today.  I will say that physically, The Husband, has committed to a research trial of sorts regarding a heart implant.  It's random choosing so he has a 50/50 chance of being chosen for the implant to be implanted or just be in the trial to be observed with his medicines.  Either way will be fine even though the benefits of the implant to him physically would be a big deal.  Time will tell.  I could relate to you the hurts that happen otherwise in the heart but I'm going to save that for another day.  The "hurts" are still fresh and I want to do that particular post justice so just consider it to be "coming soon".

With all that said and with the effort of collecting my heart thoughts, I decided to do a throwback Valerientine's Day and share one of my favorite articles about the subject.  It was in the newspaper long ago--yes, I was a newspaper article clipper--and it was so true, spoke so many loud volumes to my own heart, and so "Me" that I just had to clip and eventually share.  On this particular day in this particular year, it means even more to my heart than the day I clipped it.  It was written by a woman named Judy Elliott in the editorial section of the newspaper.  Judy Elliott was a very wise woman.  Her article deserves a yearly read.

"The 14th of February fell a week to the day after I married.  I rushed home from my teaching job, threw a clean cloth on a card table, tied red streamers on my new husband's chair and popped up an 8 x 10 Valentine by his plate.  Then I waited for him to burst through the door, a bouquet of red roses in his arms.  I threw together a heart-shaped chocolate cake from a mix and squirted red icing on the top.  Newly-wed dessert with high expectations.

Finally, my groom showed up, a little late, but worth the wait I told myself.  He took one look at the table and blanched white.  He had forgotten it was Valentine's Day.  No card.  No flowers. No candy.  I was crushed.  He tried making polite conversation but I wasn't having any part of it.  I dished up his dinner like it was prison food, plopped down in my folding chair and answered his "What's wrong?" question with all the maturity of a 22 year old bride.  "Nothing,"  I sniffled.  "Absolutely nothing."  I pouted for three days, played the martyr and made both of us miserable..........

.....Seven years went by before, walking a sick baby in the night, I realized it was Cupid's day and I had forgotten to get him a valentine.  It was his chance to whine, but he didn't.   By then we were way past a candlelight dinner...I was scrubbing Gerber's oatmeal off the kitchen floor and he was taking his turn folding diapers.  If he had brought flowers home, I would have had a sinking spell, knowing we needed the money to pay the pediatrician.......

....The same fella who forgot to remember me with a card on our first Valentine's Day together turned out to be a man who saw me through my mother's final illness and never left my side at her funeral.  He rocked babies with earaches and drove carpools to Brownie meetings.  All told, he probably spent four years of his life sitting on bleachers, watching swim meets and tennis matches.  And when I had an operation, he stretched out on the uncomfortable chair by my bed and stayed at the hospital.

He'll never surprise me with a diamond ring in a box of Cracker Jacks...and he's yet to mention I can no longer fit into a size 8 dress.  I'm a slow learner, but I finally realized it takes more than chocolate, valentines or roses to take care of the heart."

I ask you, my faithful blog readers, how can you NOT love that?

An I would be remiss to not say that this kind of love is right below the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ on the love list!

Happy Hearts' Day!

Consider......

"THINGS"

"If we spend all our time focusing on and wanting the things we can't have, we will miss the joys of the blessings of the things we do have".    

--Brenda

MEMORIES?

The past year in my life has been hard.  I'm just gonna be real with you.  It's REALLY been hard.  My parents made the choice to go to assisted living and made the decision for their house to be sold.  This is the house where we moved when I was 13 years old and it was next door to the house where we moved when I was three years old.  You might say that you imagine I was devastated.  I will tell you that I was not.  There were parts of the whole sequence that were very emotional for me.  All of the sequence was exhausting physically and mentally to me.  But devastated?  Not even close.   We emptied the house of soooo much stuff and cleaned it up, listed it, and much more and it got a contract the second day.   Two and a half months after my parents moved, my sister and I sat at the the closing table for this house.  As we each signed our last multiple paper representing our parents, we both got very very teary eyed.  It was a closure of a time.  Simply a closure of a time.  It was the Lord's provision for my parents and His best for them.  Have my memories left with the sale of that house?  Not a chance or at least as long as I keep my "rememberer" as The Grandbaby calls it.   Do my parents accept their decision for this sale?  Nah.  They want everything to be as it was 30 years ago.  I know realism and it can't happen.  Time goes by and time makes a change in everything and everybody.  That's a lesson I've learned.  

The church congregation I've been a part of for 50 years voted to build a new church building several years ago.  I think it was finished about fifteen years ago and we have worshipped in the new place all this time.  The Lord has been in that church with his sweet Spirit, souls have been saved, prayers  prayed and answered, praise given, tears shed, and shouts of joy heard.  Some have been married there, some of had goodbyes said there, and many have been baptized and joined to this congregation.  The new place houses the growth of this congregation.  

Fast forward to today.  The old church building was in much disrepair and the longer it stood, the more that disrepair came.  Today was the day that it was pushed down.  I didn't go watch, I had no need to.  You see my memories are still in my "rememberer".  I was married in that church, yes.  I brought The Girl to that church.   I felt much in that church during the time we were in it, just as I feel in the church building of the same congregation today.  I will say that as I looked at the pictures of the rubble and noticed the front rails, I realized my strongest meaningful memory was a Sunday morning in the cold winter.  I had been recovering from a serious surgery and the Sunday had come that I could return.  The Girl was sick that day so The Husband went to Sunday School then came home to stay with her.  That made me arrive alone a bit late that morning.  I remember standing on the porch, overcome with emotion of thankfulness as I listened to the song being sang by the congregation.  My soul overflowed with peace that the Lord had provided for me to return....not to the church building, but to the church congregation and the Spirit living in them.  I realized it's an odd kind of a memory but then again, maybe not.  I think I felt the same thing in the new building on the day The Girl married The Son-in-Law as I stood in the foyer and listened to the piano playing and I realized yet again how faithful the Lord is in all our lives if we only trust in him.   Overwhelmed by the goodness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

It's not in the building, it's in the heart.  The things of the Lord matter and those things are best felt in the heart.  As for buildings, the BEST house of God will be not made with hands.  

"For if we know that this earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."  2 Corinthians 5:1

I will view THAT building some day....I hope you will, too!

Consider.....

DIFFERENT

Hello again, blog readers!  It appears I am finally off my hiatus or whatever you choose to call my long lapse in posting.    I credit the lapse to multiple, multiple doctors' appointments for the multiple, multiple folks I accompany to the doctor, a mind that is so very full of "stuff" that needs doing, a body that is so weary of doing that "stuff", and just plain simple distraction.  Truth.  It's a rare year when I miss making my Thanksgiving post.  Does that mean I'm not thankful?  No, it's just "different" for me.  My thanks to my Savior for all HIS blessings is just different that I didn't blog voice them this year....the thanks is unchanged and still remains sincere.  Happily, Jesus knows that.  

So here I am again.  Finally.   

The Christmas season held a lot of sickness for those I love most....two cases of covid, one for The Husband and one for The Son-In-Law, and another case of walking pneumonia for The Grandbaby.  They were sick.  In our almost 46 years of marriage, I can never remember The Husband having a fever of 103+.  Now I know he has.   As we say in the South, bless.    Thankfully all are recovered.

I knew after The Parents moving to Assisted Living that this year would be "different" in many ways and I knew probably those who moved would not enjoy it at all.  You see, they don't like "different".   The thing that's hard to understand is that though things SEEM different, the only thing really changed is their location.  And it's a nice, good location.  Their physical and mental healths are "different" now, but the fact that they are my parents remains unchanged.  

I was thinking that is how many things in life are.  Many areas of life have "life" that comes and makes things totally "different" from what we considered normal.  I voiced just yesterday how Covid changed the world those years ago in many ways with that "different" virus that required quarantine and masks and fear.  Now Covid is here and it's not really "different" anymore, just a virus like so many others.  But man did it make life "different"?  For sure.

Faces we love may be absent and that's different, be them moved up to heaven or just absent.  Grocery prices are "different" and that's not good for anybody, but it's still a fact that folks have to eat.  So we either accept the "difference" or we make the "different" okay or better.  

Just remember as this years progresses, we will encounter different daily.  We must remember that often different and change have their places.  Just to prove my thought process, if I keep in mind that if I rolled along just the same day after day after day, I might not have had The Grandbaby in my life.  What a despair that would be!  Sometimes things being "different" allows things to be better!  Different and change is not always for the worse.  

So for this first post of 2025 after my hiatus,  I'm sure I have you totally confused.  Just remember with all the "differents" and "changes", love and blessings and Jesus remain unchanged.  That's the BIG deal!