It’s June! Probably the number one month for weddings. It was the perfect month for mine, 33 years ago. June 29, 1979—a Friday—was mine and The Husband's wedding day. Yesterday, we celebrated 33 years of marriage. I’ve lived with The Husband ten years more than I’ve lived with my parents in my lifetime. Wow.
The Husband and I had known of each other through our dads. His dad built houses, my dad built cabinets, so the two dealt with each other. His dad always told me he thought I would like the middle son of his 5. We finally met—another good story for another day—and the rest, as they say, is history. I will say here that we had out first date about the middle of December and were married in June of the next year. I’m amazed that my parents even went for that….I probably would have fussed a good bit if my child had even considered such a time frame. But, here we are, 33 years later, happier than two pigs in the mud.
We are not your typical couple, I don’t think. I’m fine to do what I enjoy without him if he doesn’t enjoy it, and he’s happy to do what he enjoys without me, too. In fact, I PREFER to go shopping without him and he (and I) PREFER that he go fishing without me. That’s not to say that we’ve never done these things together in the past 33 years—we have. But we are smart enough to realize that we enjoy both more if we go alone or with a buddy of the same gender. We have discovered we like vacations where one flies to the destination, rents a car, and sees the sights. We—or he—has driven thousands of miles while I sit in the passenger seat of the car with a map in my lap and my camera around my neck. A lot of our trips involve animal watching, which The Husband LOVES, and to be perfectly honest, I have learned to love it also as I join my love of photography with his love of animal watching. We have adapted quite nicely. Some say that the longer two are married, the more they become alike. I won’t argue with that at all.
Many years ago I read a newspaper column titled something about “Not Hearts and Flowers”. It touched me so much that I kept it and even had The Girl read it before she married. In it, the author speaks about her hurt feelings in her early marriage because her husband forgot their first Valentine’s Day. Forgot! Can you imagine? It goes on to tell how wise she had become as the years passed as she watched her husband help her care for sick children, care for her sickness, stand by her at the death of a parent….you get the picture. She spoke of how hearts and flowers were very over-rated. I agree.
The Husband is not a bring-you-flowers guy but I will say he has come through several years with gifts that I certainly loved and appreciated. More than that, though, I feel like that author did. The Husband has certainly gotten the raw end of the deal of the “sickness and health” vow in the wedding ceremony. He’s had to wait in surgery waiting areas for me more times than I can count….and even one time alone at midnight. He’s cared for me during recoveries of these many surgeries. He has been a wonderful daddy to our girl. He works hard physically without complaint to be a provider. He is honest. He is strong. He is a man who loves the Lord above all else with his family a close second. All those things if considered flowers would make a very beautiful bouquet. Water that with love and respect and those flowers live a very long time.
We just returned from a couple of days at St. Simons Island. It was a lovely time. We enjoyed a beautiful sunset on Thursday night. Friday was one of the rare anniversaries that we actually spent mostly together. I walked on Jekyll’s beach for a while and took photos of driftwood while The Husband fished. Delightful. For both of us. We went to the “show” as we often do on our anniversary and did not like the movie. The matinee was less expensive and the theater very air conditioned--it was WAY hot outside--so it's wasn't a total waste of a bad movie. That's a problem we seem to be unable to overcome in 33 years....picking not-so-good movies. We ate wonderful grouper for supper, watched our normal hour of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, and played Bible Trivia.
On the way home today we were eating lunch at a Macon restaurant when an older couple, probably in their 80’s, came in. She had obviously been to have her hair styled. He was wearing his boldly striped shirt with his plaid shorts and had a cap on his head. I noticed they both wore sneakers with Velcro fasteners. When they came in to go towards their booth, they walked very slow, holding each others’ arms…holding on so as to lead each other along. They shuffled to their booth. I couldn’t help watching as they looked at their menu. When one said something, both would lean toward the center of the table to hear. My eyes began to tear up a bit as I figured they had been married many more than my 33 years. You could just see the love and contentment they had with their relationship. I see those things also in relationships of older folks I love, like my parents and others who are examples to me. I want that, too. Now and in the future. But then again, maybe I already have it after all.
