WHO AM I? REALLY.

I can truly say I have suffered from "writer's block" lately.  Life has seemed to overtake me since my last post.  I have a hard time finding enough hours in the day to feel "accomplishment".  Sure, I have joy in my days, happiness in my days, and love in my days.  I just don't accomplish anything that I can SEE.  

Granted in my last post I told you of my back issues.  For the past two weeks I have been having really good physical therapy.  The physical location of the office is a tad further away from my house than the one I used before so I drive further, but I am finding pain relief.  Yesterday was the first day I can truly say I felt a great difference.  I am hopeful.

With those visits along with the rest of the things I do, I have had little time for calming my mind, let's say.  This morning, being Friday with physical therapy three hours from now and The Husband on a day fishing trip, I made the time to sit, drink my coffee, read my devotion, and talk to my Lord.

I received a gift a couple of weeks ago from a dear friend, a devotion book called "Streams in the Desert".  I had to read to catch up to the date but as of a few days ago, I am caught up.  I will insert here that I can't believe it's already January 31.  Where does the time go?  For my birthday a couple of months ago, my sister gifted me with a  book called "Beholding and Becoming".  It's not a daily devotion but the subtitle says "The Art of Everyday Worship".  I sometimes intersperse this book with my devotion time.

With all that said (I obviously remain a person of many words), this morning I was extremely touched by the January 31 devotion in my new book.  The scripture was from Job--now we all know what Job went through.  It was Job 34:29 and said "He giveth quietness."  Well duh.  Isn't that what I need?  Quietness in my mind and spirit just to listen to what my Lord wants to tell me.  Or just quietness and peacefulness for spiritual strength and therapy.  The devotion talked of quietness in the midst of raging storms and don't we all know what those are like?  It says "quietness even in the midst of losing our inner strength and comforts".  He wants us to distinguish HIM instead of them.  Each devotion in this book is ended with a poem.  This morning there is a poem with about four sections.  The last line of the poem says this:  "Who can make trouble when You send me peace?"  I just LOVE that...

Then in my birthday book, the chapter I was reading was titled, "Beholding...God's view of you".  The thing that stuck with me is the author described true self-esteem and the secret to it.  She said "the higher we esteem God for who He is, the truer our view of ourselves.  She said that when we recognize how great our God is, the more we recognize how flawed we really are.  When we lift hearts in worship, we learn to value who He created us to be, in spite of our imperfections.  Because geez, if He saw in my flaws one worthy of rescue, why should I complain?  I'm going to quote also this from this book.  "It's okay to be a no one to everyone if you are someone to the Holy One.  Who He is in you defines who you are in Him."

Well I just love that!  So with all shown to me, I know that even though I have my faults, failure, pains, and distractions, I am somebody to Jesus!  He loves me and I'm HIS kid and even though I do fail and am distracted, HE always forgives when I ask.  And He cares even when I seem to be too busy to care.

So who am I?  Really.  As I type through my teary eyes, I can rejoice that I am a girl who's so blessed with a Heavenly Father who loves me.  That doesn't even count all His other blessings that are too many to count.  He.  Loves.  ME.  Really.

Consider....

MINDFUL

Last month at The Grandbaby's preschool Christmas program, the pastor of the church gave an opening prayer.  Something he said I had heard said often in the past but it stuck with me somehow differently on that day.  He said something like, "Let us always be mindful of you Lord, and others."  I've thought of that often since then.  Mr. Webster says mindful means "conscious or aware of something".

I kind of lost sight of that these past few days with my focus on things that had to be done.  I began with a pain in my right shin Wednesday night that was different, it lasted through the next day, then the next day when I got up, I could hardly walk as the pain in my whole leg was excruciating.  I'm the queen of pain but this pain was different.  This was also the day I was to take The Husband downtown to the big city for his colonoscopy.   I had to suck it up and move on.  Before I left for the downtown trip, I sent my doctor a portal message explaining the problem and asked if ice or heat would be best to help it.  This was Friday and my doctor closes at lunch on Friday so I wanted to get my question in, knowing I would not return until middle of the afternoon with The Husband.

During the day, I continued to hurt and my leg almost buckled a couple of times but I moved through it.  The Husband's colonoscopy went pretty well.  If I'm the queen of pain, he's the king of colonoscopies.  Really.

To move on with my story, I had my phone on silent so I missed a call from my doctor.  She left a message.  I knew when she called AND left a message it would not be what I wanted to hear.  She told me to take three aspirins and go asap to the emergency room.  She thought these symptoms sounded blood clottish and one doesn't want to mess with that.  Of course, The Husband is home after anesthesia and can't drive so I tried to get him to allow me to go to the ER alone.  Alas, he would not hear of that so I drove us both there.  Bless him.

What a nightmare in the ER flu war zone!  And on a Friday.  Six hours later, I left there with the knowledge that I did not have a blood clot but no one really knew the source of the obvious pain either.  I was to take pain medicine and see my doctor this week.  I have an appointment this afternoon and she is hopeful (as am I) that she will find the root of this pain.

As I sat in the ER all those hours and watched, I became mindful of the fact that there are areas that can be improved and make this an easier event for the medical personnel and the sick.  I was thinking that common sense is not much of a factor there, nor is an organizational skill to move along folks who are not exceptionally in need of an ER.  Do I think this is what that pastor meant in December when he prayed?  Nah.   They do need common sense, however.   But don't we all need that in our daily life?

I realize that I need to be more mindful and aware of the needs of others as this new year has begun.  I need to be less self-centered in my own world, but also be mindful of the leading of the Lord in my life.  Granted, I can only be mindful of that in my own life.  I need to be mindful of my attitude, my love for others, and my prayer life.  The list could go on and on.

So with all that said, I encourage you to practice being mindful as I am going to try to do more.  I know that the Lord is always mindful of my needs and supplying those and for that I am grateful.

Mindful.  Consider.....

TOPSY TURVEY

Topsy turvey is a phrase that has long been said by many and means simply "upside down".

The Grandbaby really enjoys television shows and has gone through different stages of favorites.  She still enjoys her super heroes, the P J Masks.  Then she's to another extreme of enjoying princesses.  I guess she has multi interests when it comes to animation.  When she was much younger, I introduced her to my current favorite show, Goldie and Bear.  She tended to lose interest in that for a while but now has regained that interest as I have a few episodes taped on my DVR from back then.  I can't seem to find it on my television schedule now.

The series is based on fairy tales.  The main characters are cute blond haired Goldie (Goldilocks) and her best friend Bear (Baby Bear in the Three Bears story).  The other characters are fairy tale characters--Mother Goose, Red (Red Riding Hood), Humpty (Humpty Dumpty)--you get the idea.

Her favorite current episode is Topsy Turvey Tea Party and we watch it every time she comes.  In this episode Mama Bear is giving a tea party and Mother Goose is going to attend.  Now this will be the first tea party Mother Goose has attended at Mama Bear's house.  All you girls out there know how important the preparation would be if Mother Goose was coming to your house so you will find this easy to imagine.

Mama has made a gorgeous chocolate upside down cake for the event.  It stands tall with the smallest layer being on the bottom and the widest layer on the top.  The icing is flawlessly done with a bit of pink and purple decoration.  Beautiful!  Mama Bear has to go out and find more chairs, leaving Goldie and Bear to do dusting and cleaning up a bit.  Well, this beautiful cake is sitting on the table.  Being the children that they are, Goldie and Bear cannot resist putting their finger in the icing and having a taste.  It IS delicious!  Before they know it, they have had many tastes and one side of the cake is gone.  Their mouths are covered with chocolate and Mama Bear is coming up the walk.  Bear stashes the cake in the refrigerator and they decide to go to Ginger's house (she's a good witch) as Ginger can cook another one.  (Lots of unrealistic expectations here but in animation anything can happen and no one questions.)  Bear tries to come clean with Mama Bear but the guests begin to arrive.

Fast forward to the party and Ginger at the kitchen door with an exact cake as Mama Bear's, except Ginger's cake is a magical chocolate upside down cake.  The cake is cut and served and the first taste is taken by a guest.  That guest immediately rises to the ceiling with feet at the ceiling.  The next guests tastes and does the same.  Mama is confused and worried.  Goldie and Bear know what happened and just as Mother Goose is about to take a taste, they yell, "Don't eat it!"  Too late as Mother Goose rises to the ceiling and they all float around.  At this time, Goldie and Bear admit their disobedience to Mama and, like any girl, Mama fears she is ruined in the eyes of her peer, Mother Goose.  All turns out well as the Topsy Turvey Tea Party is the most fun ever.  Moral of the story--there are many.  You see how many you can find.

With that long dissertation and explanation that is pretty mindless, I will admit that yesterday I thought,  "I can make an upside down chocolate cake like Mama Bear's and The Grandbaby will be over the moon".  Well, let me say here that using the equipment I had, the cake baking was not that easy.  I did get one made and it was a bit wobbly.  Uh, actually, it was lot wobbly.  When The Grandbaby saw it, though, when she and her parents came for Wednesday night supper, she was thrilled.  She loved the look, she loved the taste, she just loved it.  In a Neema/Grandbaby world, that is what it's all about.

I paid attention to what I did wrong in the balance of the cake and might even try it again sometime as honestly, it really was good.

So that's my story for today....hope you enjoyed.

Hope your day is topsy turvey fun!  

ONE LAST THOUGHT FOR THIS DECADE

Don't look back.  You're not going that way.

CHRISTMAS PAST

The last Christmas of this decade has passed.  Ahh, those decades go by quickly, don't they?  As I usually share my events with pictures, I wanted to do that again this year.  I don't want to disappoint my readers who enjoy seeing my life in pictures.

I entertained my neighborhood widows with a lunch again this year.  Unbelievable that I took no pictures.  None.  I did entertain five women with two unable to come.  We had a great time!

Another picture free event was a meal with family members from The Husband's side of the family.  We enjoyed a steak meal at Longhorn Steakhouse.

The Grandbaby performed in her preschool Christmas program.  I could share a lot of pictures but I will share only a few.  It was a program of songs such as The Little Drummer Boy and The Reindeer Pokey.  Such fun and such a growth in The Grandbaby this year.  She started waving as soon as she walked in.

It's always fun for a little girl to have pictures made with Poppas, Grandaddys, Nanas, and Neemas.

Posing for pictures has become challenging in our family.  At least The Son-In-Law is smiling and looking at the camera.   One out of three ain't bad.

Success....

There are four friends I have who, along with me, make up The Lunch Bunch.  We have been friends since our kids were in elementary school.   For 25+ years, we have ate lunch together....monthly for a time, often less often.  Finding time together this past year has been a challenge.  This group of friends have shared family problems, cancer diagnosis, spousal and parent deaths, sicknesses, and just this past few months a brain surgery.  This year our Christmas lunch was a lunch full of thankfulness at what the Lord has brought us through.  Yes, this group of friends are praying friends and supportive friends.  The tall one was just recovered from brain surgery when this lunch happened.  In fact, she was the driver to the lunch and our hearts were full of thankfulness and joy!  And may I say that my red sweater got a lot of use this Christmas?

There was also another "bird" gift this year from my secret giver.  I LOVED it just as I still enjoy all the ones given in years before.  If you are reading this and are my secret giver, thank you so much!  These gifts give me the warm-fuzzies every single time I get one.  

There were visits with various "Ho Ho's".....

Look how sweet that tiptoe with that shoe slipping off is...it's the little things...she was having no part of lap sitting with him.

And there was the gingerbread house building.  This year the house came unassembled.  Unfortunately.

There was Christmas at the great grands--Grandaddy and Moe....

...and gifts The Grandbaby loved.  The Grandbaby loved EVERY gift.  She also loved helping everyone open their gifts.   She has quite the artistic side and loves the coloring and the building.

Here's our token annual photo from that gathering.  Yes, I was pleased that I was the lap of choice for this picture even though my expression leaves a lot to be desired.  Lap sitting in my particular lap doesn't happen often.

Christmas Day was lunch at our house.  The Grandbaby had not tired of the gift opening by then at all.

I usually fill stockings for my gathering.  I suggested to The Husband this year that he shop at the dollar store and buy me three gifts for my stocking.  I would do likewise for him.   I bought him nice gifts--candy, crossword puzzle book, and dental floss pickers.  Yes, he uses those, thank you.

When my time came to open my stocking gifts, here are two I received...

The Husband said he gave me the hair color in hopes that I would look like the girl on the box.  I suggested I would need good makeup for that to happen....

I also received these for my tired eyes and a package of three mini bottles of breath drops.  What a guy is The Husband!

The stocking gifts brought a really good gift when combined....the gift of laughter!  Everyone except The Grandbaby laughed...she was a little small to appreciate the humor.

We played puzzles, which The Grandbaby loves to do...

The Girl got a couple of sentimental gifts.  One was an "I will finish this after Christmas" tablecloth made from a couple of bedspread panels my aunt was cross-stitching at the time of her sickness and passing.  I intended to make something out of it eventually and this was the year...perfect for The Girl's table.  And The Girl does love sentimental gifts.

The other was a couple of framed pieces of the two favorite piano solos taught her by her former piano teacher who has also gone to heaven.  The pieces have all the handwriting of the teacher and brought The Girl much joy.  She will hang near her piano.  She played this particular one for her county Junior Miss competition.  I put the remaining pages behind the mat so they would always be together.

Of course there was the group photo session which took place outside in the warm, spring like temperatures.

See, I was not the chosen lap on this day....

And see...gotta love the challenges....

And in closing, lest we forget the REAL reason for the season.....Happy Birthday, Jesus!  (Yes, we sang and blew out the candle!)

"Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift."  2 Corinthians 9:15

So Christmas is past, but hopes remain that we will move into the new decade sharing the true meaning of Christmas daily in our lives and with all who we are blessed to meet.

And now....to all a good night!

A QUESTION FOR YOU

Well, one of the busy pre-Christmas weekends is almost done.  I marked a few things of my list but still have a few more.  Is it okay to repeat myself by saying "the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be?"

Today was our church's annual Christmas program.  For the first time I can remember in the past 45 years, it was a morning program.  This year it was a program involving the children and a musical but told the simple story of Jesus.  It held Happy Birthday Jesus, Wake up Shepherds, and my favorite program song for years Jesus Was Born For Me.

The Grandbaby was Mary this year.  One never knows how three year olds will do at this kind of event.  The Grandbaby was a bit wiggly in her part and her nose did some running without a tissue but all in all, for a three year old, she did pretty good.  Her buddy in crime was Joseph.  The director said that the audience might get some chuckles.  They did that for sure.

In the beginning all went nicely.

I will insert here that The Grandbaby's Baby Aurora was the one chosen to portray the Baby Jesus.  She was swaddled tight tight tight.  That is a very good thing.

It was shortly after the program began that Joseph did something different.

Baby Aurora/Jesus disappeared from the manger and Mary had to look for her.  Seems that Joseph thought his stuffed dog might want to be in the manger instead.  Joseph actually was quiet and subdued for the remainder of the program.  Mary?  Not so much.

Yes, all this was comical.   I reminded myself of all the times I worked with children and assured the parents that the children would grow out of their "mischoop" (as The Grandbaby calls it).

Look at this picture.

My question for you is "What do YOU see?"

Sure, I see little feet in stylish shoes that some day will show up in someone's photo box and they will say "That's the kind of shoes we wore back then."  I see a wide-eyed doll lying on the floor under something wood.

You know what else I see?  I see a piece of weathered wood with stains and I am reminded of the many many years that manger has housed a doll of some sort for children and adults alike to tell the story of Jesus.  That manger may be shaky, but it's stood the test of time.

Then I look and I see a representation of a baby on the ground trying to be hidden from sight.  How often do I try to hide Jesus away from sharing and showing?  Too much, I fear.

I want to be like that weathered wood and stand the test of the storms of life.  I want my manger to house the blessed Jesus who is the light of the world!

As The Husband said, he didn't realize the first night of baby Jesus was so "restless"  meaning the wiggles on stage.  I chuckled at that but I so love the story and I love to hear children, however wiggly they are, portray that story as they learn it for themselves.

Yes, Jesus was born as a baby all those years ago.  He lived on earth, was crucified on a cross for my sins and for yours, and three days later rose again!  He lives in my heart today and for that I can say "Jesus was born for me"....hallelujah!

So random as this post is, there you have it!

Consider..........

YES, A GRATEFUL HEART....AGAIN....

It's so hard for me to believe how time has flown by, faster and faster every passing year, it seems.  As I reflect on the thankfuls this Thanksgiving season, I refuse to look back at my past posts even though this one might repeat gratitudes from those posts.  I've learned it's okay to repeat thankfuls over and over and over every single.  Yes, not just on Thanksgiving.  Every. Single. Day.

I find myself also amazed at how the Lord speaks to me these days.  Maybe it's because I seek His voice and listen for it and to it much more than I used to.  Take this morning, for example.  As I turned to my devotion/study that I'm drawing near to a close, the scripture it took me to was Isaiah, one little chapter of 6 verses.  It was so fitting for today and the season, plus it was already colored in my yellow in my Bible.  Coincidence?  Nah.

Yes, I want to make mention of HIS name for he has done excellent things!

For the past few weeks, The Son-In-Law, The Girl, and The Grandbaby have been giving one thing each to be thankful for as they eat their supper.  The only rule is that it can't be the same thing every time.  When they ate with us, I did change the rule a bit as I would give my "thankful", then say that we ALWAYS need to be thankful for Jesus.  Everyone agreed so that thankful became the exception to the rule.  I got a bit teary-eyed one Monday after that as I had picked up The Grandbaby at preschool as each Monday goes.  We were looking at her crafts from school and the first thing in the folder was a cross that had tissue paper attached.  At the top of the sheet was "I'm Thankful for Jesus".  Well duh....there you go.  Coincidence?  Nah.

So with all that introduction, here's just the highlights of my thankfuls this year.

I'M THANKFUL FOR JESUS!

I'm thankful for salvation I received over 50 years ago.

I'm thankful that choice to accept HIS salvation has grown sweeter and sweeter with each year.

I'm not only grateful for a family, but a healthy one this year, give or take a snotty nose or two or three.

I'm thankful there's food on the table.

I'm thankful there's gas in the car.  (Insert here that I'm glad I don't use as much gas as I used to as the car gets better gas mileage than in the past.)

I'm thankful for a cluttered house.  It shows we live here happily.

I'm thankful for a church where I can worship freely and a church family who prays just because there's a need, there's been a request, or just because they love.

I'm thankful for friends in all walks of my life who touch my life in so many ways.

I'm thankful that my wonderful surgeon and I have not met in a doctor's office or an operating room in 16 months.  Yes, I'm counting!  It's a huge deal!

I'm thankful for a comfortable recliner and a comfortable set of pajamas.

I'm thankful that my ears can hear a little voice that says, "Neema" and for a neck that can feel the squeeze of a hug from a little one.  Ahhh....

I'm thankful for the little bit of sleep I do get every night and I look forward to being thankful should that little bit of sleep become an uninterrupted all night sleep.  :)

I'm thankful for comfort in times of uncertainty and fears.

I'm thankful for mercy for times that I need it...which is daily.

I'm thankful for faith in "the plan" of my heavenly Father.

I'm thankful for grace.  Where would any of us be without amazing grace?

I'm thankful for assurance that God provides and supplies.  When storms come and doubts blow by, I'm thankful those doubts are fleeting and replaced by the assurance that God is near.

I'm thankful that there's so much more that I don't have the space or time to mention.  Plus you don't have the time to read, but trust me, there's so much more.

So to end this with another one of my favorite scriptures that I'm sure you've heard here before:

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."    Philippians 4:6,7

And all God's people said, "Amen!"

Consider....

THE JOY OF A KITCHEN

I got up this morning with the realization that today is a rare day at home for me.  Nowhere to go all day long.  That has become quite the rarity.  Being Wednesday, I am looking forward to having guests for supper.  Today, though, is the day I decided I would prepare food fitting for Thanksgiving.  Yes, turkey, dressing, potatoes, green beans with cheesecake in the oven.  Ah, and let's not forget the cranberry sauce for The Son-in-Law and me.

I decided I would be organized and I am happy to report to you that I am.  I was able to sit for a while with my devotion and Bible and read about Peter and Jesus walking on the water.  I thought about storms of life and how one has to walk by faith, not by sight.  Pretty soon after that devotion I got a text from a dear one asking prayer for some testing for her husband next week.  I have a dear friend, too, who is having surgery now as I type.  I was thinking about prayer and specifically my own and wondered if my prayers ever got higher than the ceiling.  I kept pondering that as I worked around here in the kitchen.

I then chose to leave the television off and put on some CDs.  The first I have chosen here is by Alan Jackson.  Let me tell you, not many folks can sing those good old songs and hymns like Alan Jackson.  As he began to sing, my heart began to overflow and shucks, I'm still teary as I type.  He sang "Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling".  If I remember correctly, that song was sang at my Granny's funeral many years ago.  I thought it was such a very odd choice, but her choice.  Since then I have learned the joy of the verse that goes "Oh for the wonderful love he has promised.  Promised for you and for me.  Though we have sinned, he has mercy and pardon.  Pardon for you and for me."  What joy that is!

Then there was "I Love to Tell the Story".  And I do love that story so much.  I just don't tell it enough.  It says "I love to tell the story of unseen things above...of Jesus and his glory....of Jesus and his love...I love to tell the story because I know 'tis true....It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do....I love to tell the story for those who know it best....seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest...and when in scenes of glory, I sing a new new song....twill be the old old story that I have loved so long."

And then one of my favorites...."Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus....just to take him at his word....how I've proved him o'er and o'er....I'm so glad I learned to trust Him...and I know that thou art with me, will be with me to the end."

Forty one years ago when The Husband and I started dating, I noticed in my mother-in-law's kitchen there hung a framed verse which was a prayer.  I always loved it.  After she passed, that came to me and hangs in my kitchen today and I love it more and more.

The turkey might be dry, the green beans might burn, and the cheesecake might fall, but there will remain joy in this kitchen.  May all who enter always feel it!

I'm thankful this day for that and that God has assured me that HE does hear my prayers.

Consider.....

SOUP

I LOVE soup, especially this time of the year!  A favorite is the Sausage Lentil Soup at Carrabbas Italian Grill.  Yum!  Often at our house, we will have vegetable soup and cornbread made from leftovers from the refrigerator.  No, there is no recipe for that one.  Then there's chili, beef stew, shrimp gumbo....ah, the list is endless.

One food The Husband is not crazy about is chicken.  He just can't help it.  He doesn't care much for chicken but he will eat it if that's the main dish.  It's hard to find a Southern guy who doesn't like chicken but if you ever need one, call The Husband.  He will fit the bill.

A few years ago I would go to a monthly scrapbooking crop at a friend's house.  She would serve lunch and she would serve a chicken soup on occasion that was just delicious.  Since then, I have used her recipe for food for the sick and for the soup supper that sometimes happens at church.  There is usually an empty crockpot when all is done at these events.  It's THAT good.  Granted, not to The Husband, but to the rest of the population.  With that in mind, I thought it might be a great season to share this lovely recipe.

CREAMY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

1 T. butter or margarine

1 large onion, chopped

3 c. chopped cooked chicken

3 (14.5 oz.) cans chicken broth

1 (10.75 oz.) can cream of mushroom soup, undiluted

1 (10.75 oz.) can cream of chicken soup, undiluted

1 (8 oz.) pkg spaghetti, broken into 2" pieces

7 celery ribs, diced

6 medium carrots, diced

1 t. poultry seasoning

1 t. pepper

1 t. grated lemon rind (I often leave this out, simply because I don't keep in my pantry.)

2 c. milk

2 c. (8 oz.) shredded cheese

Melt butter in Dutch oven over medium heat; add onion and sauce until tender.  Stir in chicken and next 9 ingredients; bring to boil.  Reduce heat, simmer 45 minutes.  Stir in milk; return to simmer.  Remove soup from heat and let stand ten minutes.  Sprinkle each serving with shredded cheese.  Makes 12 cups.

Easy to do in crock pot and even quick if you want to do on stovetop.  

Enjoy!

A THOUGHT FOR THIS DAY

You faithful blog readers who go to my Sunday School heard my explanation of this thought yesterday when I filled in for the regular Sunday School Superintendent in his absence.  This thought has stuck with me since a friend ended her prayer with it this past Wednesday.  The thought of it has been so strong, I am committing this verse to memory.

I wanted to share with you today as a thought for this day:

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer."             Psalm 19:14

I do love what that says to me and want it to be so in my life and heart.

Consider........