THE LOOK OF 45 YEARS

On June 29, 1979, I married my prince....or as you blog readers know him, The Husband.  We will celebrate with an early supper at one of our favorite seafood restaurants,  In remembering, our most notable celebration was a decorated brownie on an Alaska tour boat in front of a huge glacier.  Yeah, that was a memorable one but in the grand scheme of life, they all "look" good and are full of gratitude.

45 years looks like....

2340 weeks

16,425 days

394,200 hours

23,652,000 minutes and..

too many seconds for my calculator to count and too many for my mind to comprehend.

Forty-five years looks like a lot of sickness, a lot of health, a lot of better, and a lot of worse.  It looks like joy and sorrow, fear and fearless, happy and sad, and many emotions unnamed.  It also looks like a lot of endurance and strength.

Back in 1979, cars were different, groceries were cheaper, and wages less.  Yes, we had days of struggle in a lot of areas.  We still do.  At that beginning season, we were young and foolish--heck, some days we still are foolish but in this season I like to think the both of us are older and wiser.  The older is a certainty.  We drop something on the floor and look at each other to see who will try to pick it up and if we are smart, one of us will grab the grabber to make it easy.  Our hairs are grayer--especially the hair of The Husband, but I'm vastly approaching the gray-er.  We are more in tune with what life is holding and concern for one another excels.  Retirement has held less time apart which is okay some days....other days, we need to do things alone.  We are together most of the time now, with that said, and we really do all right with that.  Most days. 

Time in between now and then has been filled with blessings of The Girl, The Son-in-Law, and The Grandbaby.  They have enhanced our lives to the fullest.  Hard times of aging have also come, but the Lord provides.

Then....

now....

and all the joy in between....

In case you wondered, I would make the same choices all over again.  Blessed beyond measure.

LESSONS IN THE ORDINARY

On Sunday night, The Grandbaby spent the night.  Since Monday is the typical day for our babysitting gig with her, it worked well.  And, before we blink really good, summer will be over and school will have begun again.  

The Son-in-Law, The Girl, and The Grandbaby have a vacation planned for their fall break as they have done in years past.  The Grandbaby was saying the things she would enjoy on this trip and as we all know, fun ain't free.  I suggested to her that she help me organize on Monday while she was here and I would pay her so she could begin to have a stash for some of the "fun" she would like to do.  Being the wonderful organizer that she is (no, that trait did not come from her mama's side of the family), she was quite happy to agree to that.  The Poppa, The Grandbaby, and I agreed on Sunday night of a reasonable (okay, so I'm a Neema....maybe I'm a bit unreasonable) wage for this job she would do.    Let me tell you, she did work very hard helping me clean out that closet.  These days when I don't bend well to pick up things off the floor, her labors were very much needed.  She didn't complain but continued to do as I asked.  

In the midst of the work, she found The Girl's old bathrobe that The Girl wore when they were about the same age.  Along with this, she found HUGE Goofy houseslippers and a beautiful leopard design fleece hat.  Here, let me provide a visual:

Take a good look at that smile.  You would have thought The Grandbaby had been given the moon.  She wore that getup for the whole afternoon--yes, it was 100 degrees outside but thankfully air-conditioned inside.  She absolutely loved it and according to her, she never got a bit hot.  She asked to take them home and I agreed with the stipulation that she not wear the Goofy shoes on her stairs.   That would be a terrible fall if that happened and she agreed.  Yes, an old vintage quilted coral colored robe with pick ups on the outside and "pills" on the inside made for joy beyond compare to an 8 year old.  She was happier with those three items than she was her wages for the work.  Yes, just an ordinary thing but so important to her because "they were my mama's".  

Today I went for a doctor's appointment.   For myself.  Alone in the car.  It was quite the novelty as most of my doctor's visits are for and with others.  I got in traffic, of course, and was stopped in the road where  a sidewalk ran parallel.  I was stopped quite a while.  I noticed a dad and his three children biking the sidewalk in the same direction I was going.  I would ease ahead of them and then they eased ahead of me.  As I noted them, all four were wearing helmets, the older two were leading their line, and the dad and the youngest child were riding side by side.  The youngest child was maybe four or so and just getting used to no training wheels on her small little bike.  As they got ahead of me and I sat there, I noticed the dad was riding the same speed as the littlest one and he constantly had his hand around her upper arm in case she began to fall.  It was such a beautiful thing to see. (I was also impressed by his ability to multitask so very well.). Granted you don't ordinarily see the dad and the kids at 9:45 in the morning on a weekday but it still was somewhat ordinary.  I was shown the care of the dad while he cared for his kids.  Of course, all you blog readers of mine know that led me to thoughts of Jesus who always seems to have a hand on me to guide.  

I barely got to my appointment on time and it took a while there.  I see The PA in the practice and have done for years.  Often these days doctors are just plain in and out and be done with it.   The PA is a keeper.   Today as we talked through some things, I was able to see more of her compassion and kindness for her patients.  I guess I realized the extent of her kind concern when I looked in her eyes.  I'm going to be honest here, often I can't tell emotions by eyes.  Today I could.  They were eyes of caring and eyes of loving what she does.  It was a blessing and a lesson in really caring.

These three situations have much of the ordinary in them but if you look very very closely, you will find the extraordinary in every situation.  It takes both the ordinary and the extraordinary to show us sometimes how miraculous life really is.  

Consider....

THE BEST OF DOCTORS

 In the past three years or so, I've "retired" five or so doctors.  I made the statement that I need younger doctors.  There is much truth to that statement as the doctors that retired in my life were mostly my age which, when I calculate these days, ain't young.  

Of course, the doctor for whom I cried the most, literally, was my much loved 30+ year family doctor.  She told me I was her longest patient as I was the first that still remained after she moved here way back in the dark ages.  She was one of those who always had time to listen, she cared about everything that affected me and then some, and her knowledge and methods were unconventional and successful.  I am blessed to still talk to her fairly regularly as I was happy to receive her cell number when she offered.  She will call or text to say "how's it going, just thinking of you" and if the response is a "not as good as I want", she will call and say "tell me about it".   She is the doctor who STILL cautions me of the terrible affects that stress has on my body and still can remind me that "they (the ones in charge) almost let me die back in 2017 before my first major adhesion surgery.  She also tells me to please be paranoid about that aspect of my health as it can go bad really fast and she likes me.  Yes, a very good doctor, one of the best.  She has also always been one of The Girl's "team" since her diabetes diagnosis (see yesterday's post).  In fact this much loved doctor was the one who, on that very bad day of June 21, 1991, did the pricking of The Girl's finger to test the sugar as I had taken The Girl to that particular office.  She is also the wise one who looked me straight in the eye as if to say, "Don't fall apart on me here."    Out loud she said to me, "I will stay here and talk to The Girl while you go in my office and regroup yourself as you need to take her to the children's hospital."  I slowly, zombie-like did what she said and we made it that week as we learned what we needed to know to live thirty-three years and beyond with Type I Juvenile Diabetes.  Yes, a very good doctor.

So with that said, there was irony in the timing of word send to the girl a couple of days ago that her beloved endocrinologist is retiring.  This news brought The Girl to tears--and it takes a lot to do that.  She's pretty strong most days.  The Endocrinologist has been her doctor for 25 of the 33 years of diabetes.  The Girl began with the pediatric endocrinologists at that children's hospital but when she graduated high school, we had to change to an adult version.   Now you might think that this was not a problem to change.  Not so.  The Girl is so loyal to those doctors who help her in her every day life.  I researched and found The Endocrinologist and went with her to her first appointment.  He had the reputation of being one of the very best in the big city.   It was NOT a good day.  The Girl did NOT care for him at all.  It was not a fun appointment but I as a mama had determined he was the one she needed so I made her next appointment at the designated three month mark.  You see, back in this day, one saw The Endocrinologist four times a year.  The second visit rolled around and it was still not good.  The Girl was having trouble adjusting to a different personality and he, in turn, didn't know her well.  I remember at this appointment as he stood by the examining table and they were not communicating, saying,"Okay, Girl and Doctor....listen.  Girl, I want you to have the best endocrinologist around and I have heard that this doctor is it.  Doctor, this girl knows diabetes and tries hard.  I want her to have the best and that's you so you need to listen to her.  The both of you MUST form a good relationship for this to work and I intend for it to work."  Somehow from that moment on, it worked. 

The relationship not only worked but they became great friends.  He advised well.  He listened well.  He cared well...and not only about the diabetes but about all that affected The Girl.  More importantly, she KNEW he cared.  He was present and always available during the high risk of the pregnancy and they would talk at length on the phone after hours about the pregnancy and how to keep on track.  When she was induced, he was the doctor who spent a couple of hours at 2 a.m. just going over specifics with her and the nursing staff.  They thought he was a rock star of a doctor.  And he was.  During postpartum issues, he would call randomly in the middle of the day just to check on The Girl.  He didn't have a staff member do that, he did it because he wanted to know how she was doing.  There just ain't many like him these days.  

So yes, I actually cried too at the news of his retirement even when The Girl said, "He has to be YOUR age, Mama."  Duh.  The Girl also spoke truth when she said she cried when she had to begin going to him and now she was crying because she can't go to him anymore.  Isn't that how life is?  Such a myriad of opposites are we humans!  I do plan to express my written appreciation to The Endocrinologist for his care of my girl.  He is a treasure. 

As I pondered The Endocrinologist's practice and what he and it has meant to my family, I actually realized something.  He is a bit of akin to my relationship with Jesus.  Jesus and I are great friends.  Jesus advises me well.  Jesus listens well.  Jesus cares well and I will say that Jesus LOVES well.  He's there in the hard times when there is fear.  Jesus is always present and available.  Jesus could be said to even be a rock star of a Heavenly Father...so so good at what He does.   Jesus is a treasure.  The difference is that Jesus will never retire and will always be around and with me and those I love as He will with you if you are HIS child.

While the search for a new medical team leader might not be so easy, I am assured the Lord will provide the right one for The Girl.  After all, Jesus is The Great Physician, knows his colleagues well, and will guide and provide.  And that gives confidence to The Girl and to me.  

Consider....

THIRTY-THREE JUNE 21's!

 Here we are again on June 21.....a celebration of this blog but most of all the celebration of the inspiration FOR this blog!  I hope you have enjoyed the writings since June 21, 2012 and I hope I can continue more regularly in the future.

Today marks 33, yes count 'em, 33 years since the diagnosis of The Girl's diagnosis of Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes.  As I have voiced over and over on the past twelve June 21 posts, it was a life changer for the whole family, but most of all for the girl.  Life then for a ten year old held challenges of a ten year old AND her parents.  The years since have seen seasons of challenges of the life of The Girl as she has met new seasons of her growing life.  Today finds her a blessed wife, mama, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, and friend but most of all today finds her a faithful child of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  

In the last few months, The Girl has become the owner of a new insulin pump to help her live with her disease.  It is the kind of pump that dictates that she wear the glucose sensor on her arm.  In the summer.  With sleeveless clothes.  Her arm is small and the sensor is not small but she wears it without a prideful thought.   Okay, maybe there's a prideful thought or two.   (I almost wish my Type 2 diabetes would allow me to wear one as well but one must take insulin and I don't.).  The Girl has taken opportunities to do numerous research trials on sensors and tapes and has worn two in each arm at the same time for over a couple of weeks continually....just to aid in research.   Yes, pumps and sensors and such has made diabetes control easier on a daily basis.  Do they mean that nothing happens amiss?  No, they don't.  Everything can go awry on occasion but the knowledge The Girl has been taught has allowed her to control her disease.  

As I have said often, the disease belongs to The Girl.  Success of the control of the disease also belongs to the girl, however, many supporting cast members are needed.  Yes, The Husband and I tried hard all those years before she "grew up", The Son-In-Law is a gift from the heavenly Father and supports and aids, and The Grandbaby is learning about diabetes.  Numerous doctors, especially The Wonderful Endocrinologist (more about him in the next post), are members of her diabetes "team".  

Gratitude doesn't quite seem enough but a heart full of thanks to the Heavenly Father for HIS provision in dealing with what could have been a devastating diagnosis goes on and on...so so grateful.    I will say as I have said many times on this very blog, The Girl gets the credit under the Heavenly Father.  She could have kicked and screamed and said "Why ME?"  Instead she lives with grace and joy as she says, "Why NOT me?"

To say I am proud of The Girl is as I have said so many times is an understatement.  She is a joy, a delight, a living example of humbleness, and a woman of whom I am so very proud.  I am blessed to be her mama and I am sure her daddy feels the same about his blessed role!  

These words hang on the wall above my desk:

"What ultimately MATTERS is not the size of our mountains, but the STRENGTH of our MOUNTAIN MOVER."

I like that, don't you?

EVALUATING

Hello!!!!  

It has certainly been a while since we have "talked".  Life has gotten me WAY behind with blogging and quite honestly, I've missed the blogging.  It's somewhat of a therapeutic event for me.  Somehow just writing my thoughts and sharing gives me comfort and joy.

I won't go into why I was on hiatus.  The past three to four months have been stressful and exhausting for me and The Husband.  I like to think that this time of "life" has made the both of us stronger.  Let me just say that I married a guy who has become a wonderful husband!

I had quite a time this past Friday of "evaluating" different things.  Actually I was in the house alone on a lot of Friday, this was a rare event.  Don't get me wrong, I meant what I said about marrying a wonderful husband, but Friday he was outside for a long time doing a husband thing of pressure washing the driveway.  I was in the house alone and that time with just me and Jesus was a blessing to me.  Now, I'm not like some when I'm home alone.  I don't need music or television, I just need to settle my mind and carry on a conversation with Jesus. And I did that on Friday.  

I recalled my times in my childhood.  Being a pastor's kid, I spent my childhood at several different churches.  In my younger years, maybe 3-5 years old, the only thing I could think of was that the Sunday School classes were in a small building that was not attached to the church.  I can sort of remember my teacher's name, but little else in the way of visual remembering.  But, I remember the feeling of my childhood. Then there were other things.  I know I went to my first VBS with my neighbor to the First Baptist on Main Street.  I know this because I can pick us out in a very yellowed newspaper photo of the whole group in front of the church that appeared in the city newspaper.  It is very vintage.  Very very vintage.   I remember that the girls always wore dresses and that the closest contact we had with water was the KoolAid that was made from a small envelope with water and sugar added. (If you remember those envelopes, you are approaching vintage as I am.)  We had it to wash down our two cookies at refreshment time.  I remember the joys of teaching many many children in VBS.  I recalled times of health fears, times of emotional fears, and times of many more fearful things.  But...I also remember the joys during the past years and the times I can look back and see Romans 8:28 events and prayers answered....either the way I wanted or the way the Lord wanted.  It has all been good.  My Heavenly Father is so so good.

After the "evaluating" was done, I was reassured of what the Bible says.  The Lord is faithful.  The Lord is true to his promises.  The Lord is my heavenly Father who loves me more than I can even imagine.  I love the scripture in Romans 4 about Abraham and the verse where it says "He staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief" and I love Hebrews 13:8 which says "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and for ever."  That's some good stuff right there.

The sermon today carried along with my "evaluating" by having the text of "Use what you've got", "Start where you are", and "Do what you can".  A very spiritual and needful sermon to help us all as we "evaluate".  

So that's not a big deep thought for the day but one that can help us along in our lives.  And maybe my thoughts can begin to grow again as I approach the swiftly approaching anniversary of this blog on June 21.  

Consider....

LIFE

 Life lately has been challenging.  I'm not going into it today, will be a post for another day.  All I will say is aging dictates changes in some arenas.  

I found this in my drawer this morning and thought it would be a good share.  I considered that it seems when I find these kinds of readings, it's always relating to the "bad times" but I've found that more often than not, the Lord uses the "bad times" for our ultimate good.  It's just not so easy to see that during the bad times.  Hopefully in a few weeks, I will share something about "good times" but for today, lets all note this prayer:

Prayer for Bad Times

Dear God:  Help me be a good sport in this game of life.  I don't ask for an easy place in the lineup.  Put me anywhere you need me.  I only ask that I can give you 100 percent of everything I have.  If all the hard drives seem to come my way, I thank you for the compliment.  Help me remember that you never send a player more trouble than he can handle.

And help me, Lord, to accept the bad breaks as part of the game.  May I always play on the square, no matter what the others do.  Help me study the Book so I'll know the rules.

Finally, God, if the natural turn of events goes against me and I'm benched for sickness or old age, help me to accept that as part of the game, too.  Keep me from whimpering that I was framed or that I got a raw deal.  And when I finish the final inning, I ask for no laurels.  All I want is to believe in my heart that I played as well as I could and that I didn't let you down.  

                                                                                          -----Richard Cardinal Cushing

I will say that Mr. Cushing is a wise pray-er.

Consider....

CAN GOD?

 In. my scripture study this morning, I came across this scripture yellowed AND underlined and took the opportunity presented to read it.  Since I've not blogged in a bit, I was encouraged and I decided it was a good share.  

I invite you to switch up the post's title from Can God? to GOD CAN!

Consider....

NEVER TOO OLD

 The Grandbaby and I are great friends.  Or at least we are most days.  

While we were on the mountain trip, The Grandbaby and I shared a bed.  (We called it a vacation sleepover.)  We do this every time she sleeps over at our house, too.  It is a ritual.   The three of us say prayers at our bed, then she and I get settled in bed and she says, "Lay on your arm."  At that point I throw out my arm and she puts her head on it and snuggles close.  Let me tell you, that is an action that still causes my heart to pitter patter all over the floor and rejoice with thankfulness for the blessing of her.  It's that certain way that she fits there that is peaceful to the both of us.  We talk over what we will have for breakfast the next morning and any other important conversation then we drop right off to sleep.  What she doesn't know is that when she falls asleep, I talk to Jesus about her and pray for her future and that she makes good friends and good choices.

The last night on the trip, it was the same ritual, but this time instead of talking about other things, The Grandbaby said to me, "Do you think I will ever be too old to lay on your arm?"  Wow.  What a deep question!  I told her that I thought she would never be too old for that.  I explained that as I get older, my arm might not be as strong, but we would always be able to be close enough to snuggle and most likely, she would ALWAYS fit on my arm no matter how old we both are.  Then she fell right off to sleep.

I realized as she lay there sleeping that is exactly how Jesus is to me.  I will never be too old to put my head in his lap spiritually or hold tightly to his hand spiritually.  I can't tell you the times that I literally felt as if I had my head in his lap and I could almost feel him rubbing my head in comfort as I was so distraught with fear and sadness.  Many times this feeling is so real.  

I'm not naive enough to think I will always be The Grandbaby's "cat's meow" so to speak but I do believe she and I can and will remain close in various seasons of life as we pass through those seasons.  And, by the same token, I am certain that Jesus will always be close enough to hear me when I pray and give me that comfort my soul so needs daily.  His Word gives me comfort and peace and my prayers as I talk to Him help me through life.

I pray I never take the love of The Grandbaby or the love of Jesus for granted.  Both are priceless treasures.

Consider......

ANOTHER YEAR ALMOST PAST.....

Yes, 2023 is almost over.  As I have said often before, time is a thief.  One of the mysteries of life is WHY time passes so quickly as one ages.  I looked at the prior post before this and it was dated November 3...almost two months ago.

Granted, my life is vastly occupied and busy with many of my necessary commitments.  Other wannabe commitments kind of fall by the wayside.  Thanksgiving was good with the exception of no Thanksgiving post on this blog which made me look grossly ungrateful.  I am not grossly ungrateful.  My heart overflows with gratitude hourly.   And now Christmas is over and the New Year just two days away. 

The Husband and I got sick the first couple of weeks of December which threw us off, me first then him 2 days later.  It was a nasty virus that prompted me to visit our neighborhood urgent care.  And yes, when folks say it takes one longer to recover from any medical thing as one ages, they are correct.  I also had five weeks of PT on my right leg and knee.  With all the Christmas festivities, the time just got away.  There were Santa visits, Giving Tree programs, Christmas parades in the rain, a nice Amy Grant/Michael W. Smith concert gifted to me for my birthday for me and The Girl by The Girl, Christmas Eve services, and so much more. This year I did not send Christmas cards as usual (postage was a budget cut in my house this year), my internet was down for three days, then as soon as it was fixed my 18 year old double oven died (prompting me to have repairman send part to Texas for rebuilding and not to return until after Christmas), and a few days later the dishwasher wouldn't wash the dishes.  From a miraculous viewpoint, that oven part came in the very day (Thursday before Christmas) right before the repairman came to fix the dishwasher.  Talk about feeling like I received THE gift of the season, I was excited.  Then after the dishwasher was fixed and the oven part reinstalled, the part didn't work.  Uh huh.  It. Didn't. Work.  At this point, I was not ready to discount miracles, just was ready to accept the Christmas miracle would not be my oven working for Christmas.  The very next day (Friday before Christmas) I got a call that the genius owner of my repair shop (That is NOT sarcasm....he is so smart and his business great....call me if you need a recommendation.) had figured the problem with the oven part and the repairman came again at 2:15 the Friday before Christmas and gave me a working 18 year old double oven.  So yes, there were Christmas surprises...expensive ones, but miraculous surprises all the same.  

The main thing I want to say in this post, even though I have talked only about "things", is that no matter what happens, the reason for the season is still Jesus and I'm so grateful we in our family never forget that.  

The Husband and I had a trip in the mountains with The Girl, The Son-in-Law and The Grandbaby.  It was a sweet time of family.  One day was a day that involved shopping and indoor mini golf.  The problem is that during that golf game where I was scorekeeper only, I stepped back with my right leg and my heel caught The Grandbaby's boot toe.  I felt an excruciating pain in the faulty right knee and leg and have had a terrible problem walking since that time.  I am glad I had my cane in the car but the pain remains excruciating.  I will be seeing my good hip/knee doctor on Wednesday.   Even with  that it was a good time with good cold weather.  I thought you faithful blog readers might enjoy some pictures.  Maybe in the new year, I will retrieve some of my wise blog posting.  Until then, I will share photos and wish you a happy new year!

Concert fun...

Successful gift to make happiness....favorite shampoo... 

a much needed hair dryer...

and a scrapbook of first year photos for The Grandbaby....

Always a song and a birthday cake for Jesus...

Mountain fun....

Engrossed in Night at the Museum...

This is Us...

Happy New Year!

ANOTHER....

 Seen on a sign:

"God has no need for Plan B."

Consider.....