30 YEARS - PART 2

30 years ago.  There we were, our little family of three driving to that big city children's hospital.  We were quiet in the car, each of us involved in our own thoughts.  Scared.  Uncertain.  The Husband and I were younger than The Girl is now.  I even think at that point I was not even considering that our friends were praying for us.  I was in a bit of a shock.  

I do remember there was another little girl a bit younger than The Girl who was newly diagnosed about the same time.  She was from a city much more north of us and I'm certain her family felt pretty much like ours.  There were classes to do from meeting with dieticians, social workers, exercise folks, and others who wanted to "teach" us how to live with diabetes.  It was decided that I would stay the whole time while The Husband would drive back and forth.  I can remember going into the shower every morning to shower, cry while I did, and come out of there smiling.  It seemed important that I be confident.  Isn't that how mamas still feel?  

I can remember that The Girl and the newly diagnosed girl became acquainted with another little girl patient who was in a wheelchair and had only one leg.  The three of them would often roam the halls with the two new diabetics pushing the wheelchair anywhere and everywhere around that hospital.  Alone.  The three of them.  I'm pretty sure that would not be allowed now, and maybe rightly so, but then it was a much needed activity.  Not only did they find friendship in each other, those two little diabetic girls got their exercise to lower those blood sugars.  See, we were told to bring pajamas only to wear at night so The Girl, even though an admitted patient, looked like any normal child in those halls.  

That week we learned words like hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, glucagon, ketoacidosis, diabetic retinopathy, food exchanges, and so much more.  We were taught what to do should a low blood sugar occur.  Rules, guidelines, insulins--they were all discussed.  It seemed some days unending and overwhelming.  The good news is pretty soon, it became a normal.  

The Girl's recommended doctor was with a pediatric endocrinologist group and thankfully, the doctor in the group she saw mostly was excellent and became our favorite.  Somehow the other night as I lay awake in the middle of the night, I remembered the nurses and an experience.  Early on in the first day or so, The Girl had a nurse who was quite matter-of-fact to the point of being almost hateful.  Maybe our feelings were very tender, but I think if I remember correctly she was just almost hateful.  She was the first or one of the first to introduce the insulin injection and how to do it to The Girl and to me.  The Girl had a problem with it and the process and the nurse raised her voice to say that The Girl would HAVE to learn this.  I was just a young mama and I knew that to be the truth but I still couldn't feel good about the approach.  We only had that particular nurse that once.  She was replaced with a nurse who was patient, kind, caring, and just exactly what both The Girl and I needed.  She knew how to recognize the fear of new patients.  If I recall correctly, she was the day nurse who taught so much for three or four days.  When her time off was about to come, she came in to say goodbye and wish The Girl well.  At that time, I remember what she said.  She relayed that a day after admittance, The Kind Endocrinologist had gathered the nurses together and told them that The Girl looked older than she was and that each of them should not forget that she was only a scared little girl and to deal with her accordingly.   I was grateful that he had said that to them and The Girl was sent a "good" nurse who made a difference.  More so, I was appreciative that The Kind Endocrinologist recognized fear in a little girl's eyes and respected that fear.  

As I look back these 30 years today, really, some days we haven't changed much.  The fear still comes in certain forms but with that fear is the confidence in The Great Physician that HE can treat us with kindness, concern, and compassion and that HE can make a difference.  I can tell you with certainty that this mama has learned to trust Him more for those needs during the past 30 years and I know that He holds us in the palm of His hand.  

Is this experience of a diagnosis the worst thing that could ever happen?  Shucks no, but it was the experience that moulded our lives as a family.  While it caused fear often, it helped to strengthen us for the future.  I think if we look at it closely, we realize that experiences such as these can do that--strengthen for the future.  Would I love to repeat the experience?  Uh, no thank you.  

Whatever your experience today might be that is causing you turmoil, concern, or even fear, know that things will be okay.  The Lord has it and us in the palm of HIS hand.  Do your best every day.  Don't beat yourself up when you wish you had done something different.  As I recall something else from that week, we were taught that every day won't be perfect, but that each day begins anew with new opportunities.  I will close with a favorite Bible verse that comes to my mind that fits life for us all.

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning:  great is thy faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him."    Lamentations 3:22-24 KJV

Thanks for enduring my reflections, however odd it has seemed.  Sometimes a body just needs to remember where you were and how far you have come.  Now let's move on with life and the future!

30 YEARS CELEBRATION (Part 1)

 Thirty years.  Three decades.  Yes today is the day we remember always as it was June 21, 1991 that The Girl was diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes.  It began as a normal day but by 11 a.m. it became a day that would forever change the lives of our family.    Thirty years.  

"Back then" one spent a week in the children's hospital learning all the ins and outs of diabetes.  Let me rephrase that, TRYING to learn the important things one would need to do to live with Juvenile Diabetes.  My mind has been wrapped around so much from that particular week and time lately.

I am so proud of The Girl and the fine woman she has become.  I'm proud of her for many reasons too great to number but I am proud of her diligence to try to do things right.  Has she always?  No, certainly not.  Has she failed?  No, certainly not.  

I am filled with gratitude for advancements in the research for a cure for diabetes.  The Girl herself has done several research trials in the last few years, wearing multiple blood sugar sensors in both arms for a period of time while following the research rules.  I'm grateful for insulin pumps, insulin, a super endocrinologist, the ability to count carbs and do basal and bolus formulas by The Girl, and so much more.  Many days it seems quite "over my head".  

I am so very thankful for The Son-in-Law and his love and care of The Girl.  I'm thankful that The Grandbaby knows about her mommy's "medicine box" that she wears.  My thankfulness for so many things has no bounds.  

Most of all I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who guides, provides, and loves.  Our Sunday School lesson today was again excellent and fit this post so well with the scriptures about the provision of the Lord and the peace and comfort HE sends to us in our times of need.  The faith in HIM I have talked about lately in these posts never fails.   So super thankful am I?  YES!  

I have some thoughts I want to share from that week 30 years ago but I think I will do those tomorrow so tune back in then.  

Oh, and one more thing.....Happy Birthday to this blog!  It was formed in 2012 on this day in celebration of this diagnosis I still remember!  

I will end with simply thanks, thanks, and more thanks for decade celebrations!

SHOWERS

Last week in my 'hood, we saw showers every day.  Some days slight showers, other days heavy showers but showers that watered my zinnias and the grounds around our house.  

My thoughts today are thinking of next week.  Just an FYI, next week is a big deal to my family as a remembrance.  I invite you to check back on this blog on Monday morning.  I may even have posts on Monday and Tuesday mornings.  That would be a novelty and miracle for me, huh?

In the meantime, life carries on.  Life can be hard, I'm not gonna lie to you and you know that to be the truth as life is just not easy for anyone.   Things come and things go.   Decisions have to be made and you want them to be right.   Fears are real in the young, the old, and all those in between.  Regrets of the past happen but we move on.  Yes, life can be hard.

I'm here to encourage you, however, that in the midst of the hard there is joy.  We find things that remind us of the love of Jesus.  Yes, you know the love of Jesus is so important to me as is my ongoing and forever relationship with HIM.  I trust Him to guide.  I trust Him to provide.  I trust Him to forgive when I err which is often.  On the same token, I believe that He trusts me to BELIEVE Him.  And that's what makes the difference in the "hard".

All these thoughts came to me, however random they might seem, as I sat and read the scriptures this morning in the lineup of the book where I am trying to read the Bible through.  It's not a straight through Genesis to Revelation effort, but I'm being guided in my reading by a book written by three local women who are friends of a good friend of mine.  The readings come in different parts with a bit of history commentary thrown in.  I ordered it from the good "A" store that delivers to my home regularly.  The title is "Every Word, A Readers's 90-day Guide to the Bible" and it is written by Susan Goodwin, Jennifer Peterson, and Molly Sawyer.  It's quite a huge effort on their behalf to do such a wonderful guide and be led by the Lord.  It's affordable on the "A" store if you want one and don't be deterred by the 90 day thing.  It's hard for a "normal" life person to do in 90 days so you should do as I do and do in order when you can if you are feeling concerned that it's too much for you.

Now, back to the scripture today which led to my thoughts.  Yes, as I age my distractions in writing get worse.  I apologize.  Here's the scripture:

"And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing."           Ezekiel 34:26 KJV

Being a Baptist girl, I am familiar with the song, "Showers of Blessings" and I love it.  However, I obviously was not familiar with this particular verse and it spoke to me.  Amidst the hard, amidst the fears, amidst the uncertainties, yes, there are showers of blessing.  

Consider....

 

FLOWERS IN MY "FAITH FLOWER GARDEN"

This post follows the one yesterday, Friday June 11, titled "The Substance of Faith".  In that post I said I would post photos of my zinnias and wildflowers grown from seeds so I am happily doing that in this post.  Enjoy...

THE SUBSTANCE OF FAITH

The online dictionary defines "faith" as "complete confidence in someone or something and strong belief in God or in the doctrines of religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof."  Of course this definition led me to look up the word apprehension as it applies in the definition.  The dictionary says "apprehension" means "understanding, grasp".  

My Bible defines "faith" in the famous faith chapter of Hebrews 11 in the very first verse that

 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  Hebrews ll:l

If you have not read that chapter ever, not read it in a while, or read it yesterday, I encourage you to read it again.  It gives short accounts of all these people from the scriptures who trusted and lived by faith.  I often wonder what the verse would say in that chapter if it said, "By faith, this blog writer _____".  Most of time I'm realistic and realize that my faith doesn't measure up.  No, I come up WAY short.  

My thoughts lately have been so scattered and therefore I have not written any new posts in a while.  Nobody likes to read scattered....or at least more scattered than usual.

Today I'm writing a praise of sorts for the substance of faith that keeps one holding on to these confidences and strong beliefs.  In fact the sermon on Sunday was about confidence and maybe that got me thinking more about it.  It was a great strong sermon, much needed by my spirit.  You "faithful" blog readers might recall in my writing in the past that I've been believing the Lord for something for the past five years.  Many times along the way my faith would falter because of "roadblocks" but a couple of weeks ago, that faith became sight.  My heart rejoiced.

Another experience of faith is one that I've prayed for the Lord's will to be evident for quite a while now.  I'm hearing reasons for praise in that situation, too.   My heart rejoices.

It's in those times of fear and such when we are praying and longing for such results to come swifter that we falter.  It's easy to smile when you have no cavities but harder when you have to have that root canal.  (Not that I know root canals and hope to never know them but I have friends who know root canals.)  Life and the things it can throw one can be hard.  Really hard.  I've said, though, that you can always find someone having a harder time than you.  And I believe that.

A few weeks ago, I bought several packs of zinnia and wildflower seeds.  My intent was for The Grandbaby and me to plant these in the one spot near the road that The Husband/The Poppa would not mow.  Yes, he's a mower-downer of everything in the yard.  He can't help it, I accept it, and we happily move on.  So we went up to the little spot on the edge of the woods by the road and dug a little (my digging skills suffer), The Grandbaby put the seeds in (not one at a time but piled), we covered a slight bit, and I thought, "Hmm.  I really hope these grow, at least a little."  Being as my flower spot near the road is a LONG way from my house, watering this area was hard.  I finally loaded up a big trash can, 2 gallon jugs, a watering can, and a plastic ice cream container in my wagon, pulled them to the water hose in the grass, filled them up with water, and pulled with much effort the heavy wagon up to the road.  It was really hard.   You may wonder what the ice cream pail was for, being so small.  It was perfect for scooping the water from the heavy unliftable trash can to get the water to put in the sprinkler can to water the flowers.  It was a process, kind of like faith.   I would do this about three times a week if it didn't rain--watering ground that showed no signs of anything growing.  Finally, I began to see little snippets of green coming through that dirt. My excitement was HUGE.   Today, people driving by my house can see zinnias growing up by the road.  Pink, yellow, red, orange, white, purple.....small, but beautiful zinnias. Plus, there's a few wildflowers growing as well.   The rains of the week have been great and lessened my load of watering and I have again rejoiced about that.  This little makeshift flower garden is giving us great joy.  I will take some pictures and post to another post later on.  Maybe I will call it my FAITH flower garden.

With that in mind, let us not forget what the scriptures say by that smart Apostle Paul:

"I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.  So then neither is he that planted any thing, neither he that watereth, but God that giveth the increase."  1 Corinthians 3:6,7

So for whatever reason this post is for today, hang on to the faith.  The day will come when your faith will become sight.  I don't know when, I don't know how, but I do know the one in whom I can trust by faith.  And isn't that who it's all about?

The wise apostle Paul said it well:

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."    2 Corinthians 5:7

Consider.....

THE BLESSING OF REMEMBRANCE

Thoughts have been all over the place lately with much going on as I try to finalize some business business and get myself caught up with life.  Face it, I've realized I've spent each day of the past 5 years keeping up with life.  Amazingly, I see that I'm getting there to the caught up area of life.

As I sat here today typing a business email, The Grandbaby was playing with the vintage Cabbage Patch dolls and had a school set up.  As she prepared the room, it was always relating to how her teacher did it.  "My teacher sometimes needed a helper, my teacher...."  Remembering.  You see school is done for this school year and next school year, she will go to "Big School".  Uh huh.  How can that be?  

As I continued typing, she came up to me and asked if she could borrow my phone.  I said yes (kind of fearfully) and she went to get it, coming back to ask how to use the camera.  I showed her and asked her why and she said these words that made me smile and become a bit teary at the same time, "I want to take a picture so we can always remember this day."  (I thought, remember the dolls playing school?)  And then I realized every day is a special day.   Always remember THIS day.  She took the photos and then showed me and said, "See.  Now we can remember."  Mercy.  Least of all, how did she even know how to use my not smart phone at age 5?  

So I've been reminded that EVERY day needs to be remembered....even the bad days and the good days because it takes all those together to make up our life and OUR story.   Yes, let me "remember".

And on a more comical note, it is very entertaining to hear The Grandbaby be a teacher.  She talks like an adult.  "What?  They're going to have a pawty?   That doesn't make sense."  So fun.

Consider....

 

THE WRENS

For you familiar blog readers, you might recall I have a pottery wren house on my porch that is used often by the wrens.  I've actually watched the birds fly away one time but often have watched the mother bird bring in the food and I just simply stand amazed at the process.  ("They're baacckkk..."  June 6, 2015)

I had noticed the mother bringing in food again and knew there were babies.  This morning there were 5-6 spots of twigs from the nest scattered on the porch so I figured those little birds had flown.  I missed it.  :(  The good news is that there were not little birds among the twigs so I'm assuming they all had successful first flights.  The Husband checked the nest for any little ones and it's empty so I will clean it out today and get it ready for the next wren family.  

This process always reminds me of an important fact:

"Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.  Are ye not much better than they?"          Matthew 6:26

Consider....

THE DUMPSTER

 The Husband began a home improvement project two or three weeks ago.  He demolished our 42 year old bathtub and prepared the bathroom for a tiled shower, fully equipped with multiple handicap bars and a hand held portion of the shower head.  Never knowing what is ahead but expectant of slower moving parts of our bodies, this seemed like the wisest improvement to make.  He did all except the tile and the plumbing.  I will say that The Husband does a really good job with his work and the shower is nice.

I will interject here that we did again see my favorite Romans 8:28 in action as when the demo was done, a water leak in the washer that sits in the back side of that tub wall was revealed.  We never would have known until major damage was done so I was thankful.  I was doubly thankful as that 16 year old front loading washer was going to be gone and replaced with an easy dial top loading washer.  I had disliked that washer for 15 of those 16 years but endured.  There's a sermon in that for another day.

Doing this bit of remodeling merited that we rent a dumpster to dump all the trash.  We determined that during those ten days, we would go through much of our goods and dump what needed to be dumped.  That dumpster became quite a friend and a great convenience for ridding of trash.  The Husband and I found we had grown a lot alike as we both tend to hold on to things as "we might use that someday".  We both had to look at the item, think that, then rethink that.  When the dumpster was full, the stuff in it was not attractive and for the most part had very little good use.  The dumpster was delivered AND picked up in the wee hours of the morning so was gone when we got up the other morning.  

As I lay awake the other morning as I usually do, I was thinking about that dumpster and that trash we put in it.  I wonder how my mental and spiritual life would be if I just trashed all the goods that I don't need or that are not beneficial to me.  Emotions such as fear, dread, anxiety, distrust, and so many more would be wonderful just to dump in that dumpster of no good emotions and be carted off in the wee hours of the morning.  I haven't missed anything I put in that dumpster in my yard.  I'm betting I wouldn't miss any of those emotions either. 

I will give it my best shot to dump all those negative emotions and fill my heart and mind with faith, love, longsuffering, mercy, grace, and so many more.  I think a good cleaning out of the heart and mind is a perfect way to move on forward to whatever life has.  Don't you?

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith."                   Galatians 5:22

Consider....

THE STRUGGLES ARE REAL

The past couple of weeks have been somewhat of a challenge to me.  I will readily admit to you, my faithful blog readers, that I'm not always happy and confident.  Really, you say?  Duh.  

The struggles are real.

I note the changes in my life since the pandemic.  We can call it BC (before covid), DC (during covid) and AC (after covid--or at least after being vaccinated).  Am I the only one who's life changed?  I learned contentment in staying home regularly.  Now granted, I've always enjoyed being home but I would also enjoy a restaurant cooking my meal on occasion AND cleaning up my dishes.  Covid taught me that I can cook every meal....and survive.  BC, we ate out Sunday lunch after church every Sunday.  DC we didn't even go to church!  So of course, we ate at home.  Now, AC, we are slipping a bit back into that groove but not totally all the way.  And I have learned to enjoy the eating at home and have a routine of sorts.   BC I actually dressed up on occasion.  DC I became very comfortable in jeans and t-shirts.  AC I'm still comfortable in jeans and t-shirts.  :)  As I tell The Husband, nobody cares how old people look anyways.  

Anyways, back to the last couple of weeks.  I found myself very stressed and had to sit down and take a good look at myself and the order of importance of the things of life.  I actually did that and without elaborating (No, I don't have family problems.), I learned that I just tend to be anxious and let that anxiety take over my thought process and my normal life.  Maybe some things I expect are not as I expected them to be, maybe my hip and back will just hurt, and maybe I'm in a time of trial OR maybe I'm just in a learning time.  Either way, the struggles are real.

I had what I call a "come to Jesus meeting" with Jesus the latter part of last week.  I sat down with the scriptures and just had a little talk with HIM.  I am here to tell you that even though the struggles are very real, just a little talk with Jesus surely is a good remedy for the stress.  And then not only that, but after 59 weeks of no Sunday School, our church began Sunday School back last Sunday with the adults all meeting together and taught by The Son-In-Law.  Now I will say The Girl had given me some scriptures to read last week as I struggled and she had not shared my struggles or the scriptures with The Son-In-Law.  Can you guess what scriptures he taught from?  "His" choice from that whole Bible.  Uh huh.  A couple of THOSE scriptures.  Then The Pastor followed with a sermon that hit me square in the face and the heart so I actually left church rejoicing in the Lord and have done my best to continue that.  

After receiving requests the past couple of days from more than two friends for prayers for their current struggles, I have been reminded that everybody has struggles.  We are either coming out of a struggle, in a struggle, or going into a struggle.  That could be discouraging for some to know, but I have learned that if I never experienced the struggles, how can I have compassion for others in their struggles?  One can't see a rainbow unless there has been some rain.

My thoughts are drawn to the scripture in one of the gospels where Jesus is having a conversation with Peter.  You know Peter?  The one who said he would never deny Christ...yeah right....and Jesus says to him something like this, "Satan desires to have you and sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you....."  I take that scripture to heart during struggles and I want avoid to being sifted.  :-)

Today also was a day when I was able to watch the live preschool "graduation" for The Grandbaby.  I found as I watched her walk across the stage, so grown up, that my heart was so filled with gratitude.  With that said, I think that one good remedy for struggles is gratitude.  

So the point of this post is ___?  Good question but I sure enjoyed sharing these thoughts.  Maybe somebody is in the midst of a struggle and the thoughts will help you along.  Remember, don't just have a "come to Jesus meeting" but just COME TO JESUS!

Consider....

NINE

 Today marks the ninth anniversary of The Girl and The Son-in-Law's marriage.  I was recalling the day early this morning and remembering those little things.  It was while I went to have my hair done that The Girl and The Husband went to shoot baskets.  Yes, that's with a basketball with the wedding manicure already done.  It was a time for just them as they often would do the same thing after suppers.

The Son-In-Law came to The Girl via eharmony....yes, the online dating site.  Don't tell me the Lord can't answer prayers even via eharmony.  

So today seemed a normal day with life carrying on with doctor's appointments, preschool, laundry, and Wednesday night supper as usual.  But in our hearts, it's a day of gratitude for happy times, answered prayers, and joy.

So happy ninth anniversary to The Girl and The Son-in-Law with much love attached!