WHO AM I? REALLY.

I can truly say I have suffered from "writer's block" lately.  Life has seemed to overtake me since my last post.  I have a hard time finding enough hours in the day to feel "accomplishment".  Sure, I have joy in my days, happiness in my days, and love in my days.  I just don't accomplish anything that I can SEE.  

Granted in my last post I told you of my back issues.  For the past two weeks I have been having really good physical therapy.  The physical location of the office is a tad further away from my house than the one I used before so I drive further, but I am finding pain relief.  Yesterday was the first day I can truly say I felt a great difference.  I am hopeful.

With those visits along with the rest of the things I do, I have had little time for calming my mind, let's say.  This morning, being Friday with physical therapy three hours from now and The Husband on a day fishing trip, I made the time to sit, drink my coffee, read my devotion, and talk to my Lord.

I received a gift a couple of weeks ago from a dear friend, a devotion book called "Streams in the Desert".  I had to read to catch up to the date but as of a few days ago, I am caught up.  I will insert here that I can't believe it's already January 31.  Where does the time go?  For my birthday a couple of months ago, my sister gifted me with a  book called "Beholding and Becoming".  It's not a daily devotion but the subtitle says "The Art of Everyday Worship".  I sometimes intersperse this book with my devotion time.

With all that said (I obviously remain a person of many words), this morning I was extremely touched by the January 31 devotion in my new book.  The scripture was from Job--now we all know what Job went through.  It was Job 34:29 and said "He giveth quietness."  Well duh.  Isn't that what I need?  Quietness in my mind and spirit just to listen to what my Lord wants to tell me.  Or just quietness and peacefulness for spiritual strength and therapy.  The devotion talked of quietness in the midst of raging storms and don't we all know what those are like?  It says "quietness even in the midst of losing our inner strength and comforts".  He wants us to distinguish HIM instead of them.  Each devotion in this book is ended with a poem.  This morning there is a poem with about four sections.  The last line of the poem says this:  "Who can make trouble when You send me peace?"  I just LOVE that...

Then in my birthday book, the chapter I was reading was titled, "Beholding...God's view of you".  The thing that stuck with me is the author described true self-esteem and the secret to it.  She said "the higher we esteem God for who He is, the truer our view of ourselves.  She said that when we recognize how great our God is, the more we recognize how flawed we really are.  When we lift hearts in worship, we learn to value who He created us to be, in spite of our imperfections.  Because geez, if He saw in my flaws one worthy of rescue, why should I complain?  I'm going to quote also this from this book.  "It's okay to be a no one to everyone if you are someone to the Holy One.  Who He is in you defines who you are in Him."

Well I just love that!  So with all shown to me, I know that even though I have my faults, failure, pains, and distractions, I am somebody to Jesus!  He loves me and I'm HIS kid and even though I do fail and am distracted, HE always forgives when I ask.  And He cares even when I seem to be too busy to care.

So who am I?  Really.  As I type through my teary eyes, I can rejoice that I am a girl who's so blessed with a Heavenly Father who loves me.  That doesn't even count all His other blessings that are too many to count.  He.  Loves.  ME.  Really.

Consider....

MINDFUL

Last month at The Grandbaby's preschool Christmas program, the pastor of the church gave an opening prayer.  Something he said I had heard said often in the past but it stuck with me somehow differently on that day.  He said something like, "Let us always be mindful of you Lord, and others."  I've thought of that often since then.  Mr. Webster says mindful means "conscious or aware of something".

I kind of lost sight of that these past few days with my focus on things that had to be done.  I began with a pain in my right shin Wednesday night that was different, it lasted through the next day, then the next day when I got up, I could hardly walk as the pain in my whole leg was excruciating.  I'm the queen of pain but this pain was different.  This was also the day I was to take The Husband downtown to the big city for his colonoscopy.   I had to suck it up and move on.  Before I left for the downtown trip, I sent my doctor a portal message explaining the problem and asked if ice or heat would be best to help it.  This was Friday and my doctor closes at lunch on Friday so I wanted to get my question in, knowing I would not return until middle of the afternoon with The Husband.

During the day, I continued to hurt and my leg almost buckled a couple of times but I moved through it.  The Husband's colonoscopy went pretty well.  If I'm the queen of pain, he's the king of colonoscopies.  Really.

To move on with my story, I had my phone on silent so I missed a call from my doctor.  She left a message.  I knew when she called AND left a message it would not be what I wanted to hear.  She told me to take three aspirins and go asap to the emergency room.  She thought these symptoms sounded blood clottish and one doesn't want to mess with that.  Of course, The Husband is home after anesthesia and can't drive so I tried to get him to allow me to go to the ER alone.  Alas, he would not hear of that so I drove us both there.  Bless him.

What a nightmare in the ER flu war zone!  And on a Friday.  Six hours later, I left there with the knowledge that I did not have a blood clot but no one really knew the source of the obvious pain either.  I was to take pain medicine and see my doctor this week.  I have an appointment this afternoon and she is hopeful (as am I) that she will find the root of this pain.

As I sat in the ER all those hours and watched, I became mindful of the fact that there are areas that can be improved and make this an easier event for the medical personnel and the sick.  I was thinking that common sense is not much of a factor there, nor is an organizational skill to move along folks who are not exceptionally in need of an ER.  Do I think this is what that pastor meant in December when he prayed?  Nah.   They do need common sense, however.   But don't we all need that in our daily life?

I realize that I need to be more mindful and aware of the needs of others as this new year has begun.  I need to be less self-centered in my own world, but also be mindful of the leading of the Lord in my life.  Granted, I can only be mindful of that in my own life.  I need to be mindful of my attitude, my love for others, and my prayer life.  The list could go on and on.

So with all that said, I encourage you to practice being mindful as I am going to try to do more.  I know that the Lord is always mindful of my needs and supplying those and for that I am grateful.

Mindful.  Consider.....

TOPSY TURVEY

Topsy turvey is a phrase that has long been said by many and means simply "upside down".

The Grandbaby really enjoys television shows and has gone through different stages of favorites.  She still enjoys her super heroes, the P J Masks.  Then she's to another extreme of enjoying princesses.  I guess she has multi interests when it comes to animation.  When she was much younger, I introduced her to my current favorite show, Goldie and Bear.  She tended to lose interest in that for a while but now has regained that interest as I have a few episodes taped on my DVR from back then.  I can't seem to find it on my television schedule now.

The series is based on fairy tales.  The main characters are cute blond haired Goldie (Goldilocks) and her best friend Bear (Baby Bear in the Three Bears story).  The other characters are fairy tale characters--Mother Goose, Red (Red Riding Hood), Humpty (Humpty Dumpty)--you get the idea.

Her favorite current episode is Topsy Turvey Tea Party and we watch it every time she comes.  In this episode Mama Bear is giving a tea party and Mother Goose is going to attend.  Now this will be the first tea party Mother Goose has attended at Mama Bear's house.  All you girls out there know how important the preparation would be if Mother Goose was coming to your house so you will find this easy to imagine.

Mama has made a gorgeous chocolate upside down cake for the event.  It stands tall with the smallest layer being on the bottom and the widest layer on the top.  The icing is flawlessly done with a bit of pink and purple decoration.  Beautiful!  Mama Bear has to go out and find more chairs, leaving Goldie and Bear to do dusting and cleaning up a bit.  Well, this beautiful cake is sitting on the table.  Being the children that they are, Goldie and Bear cannot resist putting their finger in the icing and having a taste.  It IS delicious!  Before they know it, they have had many tastes and one side of the cake is gone.  Their mouths are covered with chocolate and Mama Bear is coming up the walk.  Bear stashes the cake in the refrigerator and they decide to go to Ginger's house (she's a good witch) as Ginger can cook another one.  (Lots of unrealistic expectations here but in animation anything can happen and no one questions.)  Bear tries to come clean with Mama Bear but the guests begin to arrive.

Fast forward to the party and Ginger at the kitchen door with an exact cake as Mama Bear's, except Ginger's cake is a magical chocolate upside down cake.  The cake is cut and served and the first taste is taken by a guest.  That guest immediately rises to the ceiling with feet at the ceiling.  The next guests tastes and does the same.  Mama is confused and worried.  Goldie and Bear know what happened and just as Mother Goose is about to take a taste, they yell, "Don't eat it!"  Too late as Mother Goose rises to the ceiling and they all float around.  At this time, Goldie and Bear admit their disobedience to Mama and, like any girl, Mama fears she is ruined in the eyes of her peer, Mother Goose.  All turns out well as the Topsy Turvey Tea Party is the most fun ever.  Moral of the story--there are many.  You see how many you can find.

With that long dissertation and explanation that is pretty mindless, I will admit that yesterday I thought,  "I can make an upside down chocolate cake like Mama Bear's and The Grandbaby will be over the moon".  Well, let me say here that using the equipment I had, the cake baking was not that easy.  I did get one made and it was a bit wobbly.  Uh, actually, it was lot wobbly.  When The Grandbaby saw it, though, when she and her parents came for Wednesday night supper, she was thrilled.  She loved the look, she loved the taste, she just loved it.  In a Neema/Grandbaby world, that is what it's all about.

I paid attention to what I did wrong in the balance of the cake and might even try it again sometime as honestly, it really was good.

So that's my story for today....hope you enjoyed.

Hope your day is topsy turvey fun!